Your children would rather go to T-Rex than church

Last weekend, my family and I visited another semi-local church since I had off from our own church. It was about an hour away — so my local other church ministry friends who are reading this don’t have to worry.  Here were some of our take aways.

Positives

  1. Their website really helped us in advance.  We were able to figure out where the church was and even look at where to drop off our kids.  It explained in detail what a walk through would be like.  Several places the church said to arrive 15 minutes in advance…and I’m glad they did.  It made me (the husband) look pretty good in the morning and lowered the stress level.
  2. It was easy to find the church.  The church was off a main road with a large sign to identify where to pull in and park.
  3. Parking and access to where we needed to go was inviting and easy.  The walk to the building wasn’t too long, which I was thankful for since it was cold and windy.  It’s amazing how much this makes a difference when you have kids in tow.
  4. We didn’t appear like newbies — and I liked that fact.  Because the website told us where to drop off our kids, we knew exactly where to go once we entered the building.  This was great because I really dislike going to someone I don’t know (or worse a volunteer staff) and saying, “Um, we are new — so you can you just run us through your embarrassing process.”
  5. Their children’s pastor made an effort to connect with our kids.  When we arrived at the check-in station, they alerted their children’s paster that we were new.  He came over, gave a quick introduction to us as parents (10 seconds), and then began to interact with our two oldest kids.  They both seemed to connect with him.  That was a plus.

Improvements Needed

  1. The sermon had great points — but was too long.  While I loved the points the sermon had, the communicator keep attention.  I found myself and others around me looking at their watches.  The one speaking that morning wasn’t their lead pastor, although their lead pastor was there that morning and spoke briefly at the end (which I was thankful for because it gave us a chance to hear him).  Again, great point, not great execution.
  2. The kid check-in process was OK, but not stellar.  They didn’t ask for our mobile phone # or let us know how they might alert us if there was a problem with our youngest.  Not good.  I need trust right away — that people would have thought it through and tell me who they’d contact me if my child was choking and an ambulance had been called.
  3. The music was fairly decent — but sound didn’t rock my world.  The music was good…well done, thought out — yet the audio didn’t feel dialed in to me.  It sound got better as the morning went on — but it almost sounded as if they were sound-checking (dialing in the mix) as it was happening.  I appreciated it was getting better — but I went in hoping it was dialed in right away and nailed on the first song (so I could turn off that part of my brain).
  4. They didn’t have a class for kids on this particular weekend due to New Year’s weekend.  This made listening to the sermon a challenge — as the people behind us were receiving a lesson from us in how (not) to rear your children during a church gathering.  I’m glad they didn’t select “How parents can and should train their children in the Lord” for the morning’s message.

 

The Most Frightening Aspect

Then there was something that was alarming more than anything. Following the morning at this church, we decided to surprise our kids with a visit to T-Rex Cafe at Legends. If you’ve never been there before, it’s a place kids love.  The food price is high, it’s out of your way — but they love the experience.  Not only do they love the experience, but they WANT and ASK to return.  The sad part is — we are willing to pay the prices and go our of our way.

Frankly, our kids would rather go back to the restaurant we went to than the church. What’s frightening is that our kids drive our decisions (not every, but a lot of them right now).  This means what clicks and connects with them…works for us as parents too.  If my kids end up leaving a church and the experience they had has them WANTING more and ASKING for a return…we’d most likely do it — especially if our kids were learning spiritually while they had a good experience.

Hit a home run with the Nelson kids in the experience department + show mom and dad they learned something spiritual that will influence their lives = return visit from the Nelson family.  That’s the sad reality.

Unfortunately, our kids will ask for us to return to T-Rex Cafe instead of the church. It’s going to cost us financially and time-wise to make that happen again.  It’s not easy to get to and the prices aren’t fair.  Yet, I wonder if our kids would have had a similar experience at church — maybe, just maybe, they would be asking for a return there.  Heck, I might even give them what I would have given T-Rex as a visitor in their church in the offering plate.

So lies the debate…

  • Where do parents draw the line at kids influencing their decisions (gifts, restaurants, church, etc.)?  You can’t argue that kids do not influence decision — because they do.  But there’s a line there.  And it’s different for every family.  The trick is figuring out what God’s Word says the line of influence should be.
  • Should churches attempt to compete with other kid experiences like T-Rex Cafe?  Think about it — T-Rex is in it to make money, a church is in it to win souls — so which which experience ought to win?
  • Are parents overly concerned over experience in other ways at churches (similar to children)?  If so, in what ways?  Things such as — the music has to be ‘such and such,’ the preaching needs to be ‘fill in the blank,’ the people that attend this church ought be ‘fill in preference,’ my first 2-3 experiences should include ‘this and that,’ and the list might continue.

How about you or your kids?  Where would you rather be than church?  Why?  And what should the church do about it?

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